Posterous theme by Cory Watilo

(me.)

Lesbian, Gay, Trans-gender, Bi-Sexual are titles that i feel our community has adopted to make us all come together as a collective so we are mobilized in the fight for acceptance, equal rights and fair treatment. I am proud to align myself with those categories while recognizing really that for me...it doesn't really cover it! Mainly because i am still growing, still developing an understanding of who I am and how I came to be this person.


When i was growing up in Zimbabwe (where i lived until I was 14) i remember not really having a concept of what being gay meant let alone any idea of exploring my sexuality, yet at the same time i was aware of a sexual interest, mostly from older men, frightening as it was i understood it but i had no name for it  and what it meant. one time i remember reading at article in an South African tabloid which featured a lesbian couple, getting married! I felt puzzled although something deep in me related to them I simply had no basis of understanding of what was going on, the effect was that i compartimentalised it into "thats what white people do, over there!!!" and went along my merry way. After my first sexual encounter with another boy, it didn't dawn on me that i was gay. It seemed though that at this catholic boarding school atop a mountain in rural Zimbabwe, everyone else knew, but as our people are wont to do, they quietly acknowledged it and no word was ever uttered to me.

Migrating to England in my early teens was a rude awakening. Along with the snow and the multicultural metropolis I also quickly absorbed the labels and what they meant. At school i was bullied into submission into these labels and a personal fight ensued between those labels and my intense catholic faith and i got lost in further confusion for a few years. My body also changed, rather than the leonine arrival of manhood, breasts began to sprout out and hips to round and curve and my skin to take on the kind of feel I had only ever seen on a fruit bowl (plums to be precise) but merrily I marched on, praying along the way in the hope that it would all make sense one day. My grandmother on a rare visit from Zimbabwe issued a stern warning about not doing 'that sort of thing', it fell on confused ears.

Post surgery to remove my now petruding little breasts, and hormone treatment to boost my low level testosterone I emerged a MAN in my mid twenties, sexually rapacious, and yet the Gay label still did not fit. I quickly realized that sleeping with other men does not define who you are, at that stage it was a need being met, something had to change for that label to make sense to me. It took time to realize that  i am just like everyone else, constantly evolving,  and those sexual encounters change according to who I am. If I am going through a female 'phase' encountering sex with men am I not gay?  I can call myself gay but only if it does not limit me to being just a sexual being because, really after many times at it, it is too inconsequential an act for me to use as a basis of labeling myself or basing my identity. Maybe Trans-gender might also go some way to addressing myself, as one's own feeling in oneself which I like to see as sensuality is a  big part of the labeling. Added to this is my perception of the world and indeed my faith, my occupation (how i choose to spend my time), my family and my relationships but not just sex that constitute the basis of my idea of my self. Yes, I sleep with men. I am working to make the sex a part of a  valuable, beautiful and sustaining relationship even with a woman. You might call this being gay.  I will join you in keeping the labels active for what they can get our community and the rest of the world. But as I turn the key into my home,  I will continue to be educated about my personal experiences, feelings, relationships, sensuality and my faith to lead me to who I am. Its kinda private non?

Tonderai Munyevu




Out and Proud!

My name is Dunni, a 44 year old lesbian of Nigerian parentage. I suppose for me, I've always known that I am gay. I didn't have a 'name' for it though as growing up in Nigeria, this was not something that was visible or talked about...

I was born in London, but grew up in Nigeria - schooling in Lagos and Ibadan. It was when I was about 13 years old that my awareness of myself really began. Although prior to this, I had always had leanings towards 'boyish' stuff - climbing trees, fighting rough and dressing in shorts as often as I could, much to my Mum's annoyance! My first 'proper' lesbian experience happened when I was 14, almost 15, in a somewhat innocent way. From then, I knew beyond a doubt that I was never going to be marrying any man or leading a conventional lifestyle.

I didn't come out to myself until I was 23. Although I was having dalliances with women, I still couldn't accept this was okay. Once I had reconciled my differences with myself, it was all go! I came out first to my cousin who was very close to me and he totally blew me away with his ready acceptance! This was not the case with my brother and sister, nor my parents who I eventually came out to a few years later... My friends thought me foolish, brave and possibly mad for doing this, but today, I am living my life to the fullest! I have no skeletons in my closet, nor do I have anything anyone can 'harm' me with. Life is for the living and the now and I am proud of myself for taking the steps to make sure I am true to myself!

Where are the people we are talking of?

In 2009, a group of gay black people in the United Kingdom came together and formed Justice for Gay Africans (JfGA), a pressure group to contribute to the many struggles by very many brave brothers and sisters in the mother country.

Also, that contribution was to recognise the immense wonderful works being done outside the predominantly black countries that most of which criminalized homosexuality. While the fights go on in the affected countries, campaigners and activists in the international arena are doing their best to help and their contribution can never be ignored.

On the international scene therefore, these activists have been showing an immense compassion and dedication to a problem that would rather not have worried them. However, they faced a major problem: ‘where are the people you are talking of?’ seem to be the question they get asked by both homophobic African leaders and even sympathetic allies in the West.

In June 2009, the then Foreign Minister of Nigeria told a UN Universal Periodic Review (UPR) that there are no gay or lesbian people in [from] Nigeria. And prior to that, the immediate former President of Nigeria was also very famous for arguing that gay black people do not exist and that "homosexuality is unbiblical”. The dictatorial president of Zimbabwe is no different. He is notorious for saying that homosexuality is a Western disease. The records can go on.

In hindsight, this group of gay black men and women in London realised that to add weight to the work done by all and sundry, we the very subjects of debate need to be visible.

Godwyns Onwuchekwa who then worked in the background through blogging, and joining in protest formulated the idea. By lobbying the Law Society of England and Wales to pitch to a delegate of the Nigerian Bar Association in October 2009, Godwyns was advised by the Law Society of England and Wales to form an organisation to add weight to his lobbying. In the unfolding event of this, the Ugandan Anti-Homosexuality Bill was tabled.

Godwyns continued through letters to Members of Parliament (MPs), Members of European Parliament (MEPs), UK Government Ministers, UK Foreign and Commonwealth Office, African Embassies and High Commissions in London and the Commonwealth Secretariat. The one advice that followed another is: form an organisation to be taken serious. African Embassies though did not respond with either advice or acknowledgement.

With more campaigns and protest setting up against the Ugandan Bill, African lesbian and gay people were more than ever, needed to be visible to join the fight and make the issue more human, from this end. This gave birth to the Justice for Gay Africans (JfGA).

Since then, JfGA has been involved in many discussions and the question ‘where are the people you are talking of’ is now disappearing from the table. In fact, a major campaign was the persistence of JfGA in pushing the Commonwealth Secretariat to publicly condemn criminalization of homosexuality in its member-states.

It was as this visibility became clear that the Commonwealth finally opened its doors for the first time to welcome a group of Lesbian Gay Bisexual & Trangendered (LGBT) people for a discussion. That response followed a protest held in front of the Commonwealth Secretariat in London mainly organised by Peter Tatchell with JfGA featuring and most speakers being black gay and lesbian people. It was after that protest, which was in relation to the prosecution of two men in Malawi, that the Commonwealth saw that the ‘people directly affected’ are there and making a demand.

Justice for Gay Africans is working to increase this visibility and to encourage gay black people to be proud and confident of themselves. In the long run, JfGA hopes to one day provide support to the community and to the wider black community in the UK especially to disappointed parents and family. To support them and be able to answer those confusing question.

JfGA is focused on three areas to;

1.       Campaign for decriminalization through engaging in and discussing the issue with stakeholders and allies and making sure the issue remains on the tables where it matters.

2.       Encourage visibility amongst gay black men and women and provide support through mentorship and assurance against isolation and leadership.

3.       Be a platform for gay black people to use to challenge the myths that often surrounds their lives.

JfGA also wants to change the fight from a mostly reactive to a proactive game. By seeking to discuss the issue with decision-makers and keeping it on the table, we hope to gradually contribute to a peaceful change and answer the myths surrounding homosexuality. We hope to bring the reality of our contribution as individuals and members of the community to the fore. That will show that we are not just gay people but people who are part of and contribute to the society just like any other.

Finally, we also hope to change the tradition of only waking up when there is trouble or threat. This attitude tend to portray us as being happy with the status quo: decriminalisation; We are not. By raising and discussing the issues persistently and consistently, we would feed into strategies and policies that would work towards a better understanding for full change.

JfGA is presently run with no funding of any type but Godwyns’ personal finance. So it is able to only do as much as he can afford which is not great. The organisation is not founded to make money but to show leadership and to disprove the myth that gay black people are non-existent , not proud and not real. At the moment, JfGA is run by a group of highly professional people including directors, university lecturers, clergies, artists, etc. These men and women contribute their time and skills wholly free to keep this struggle alive and well formulated.

We work closely with prominent universities in the UK, politicians, other civil societies and LGBT groups. We feature in high level conferences, workshops, seminars, meetings and are looking for more people to represent us at these places.

Godwyns in a proficient public speaker, a blogger, an ardent political commentator and activist and can support anyone to do the same. So if you are worried about being in a meeting with highly important people or speaking at a seminar, there is support from Godwyns and the entire group to help you do that.

If you would like to be involved in anyway, please contact JfGA by sending an email to news@jfga.org.uk. We hold meetings every 6 – 8 weeks in a central London venue to discuss issues affecting the community and how we can make the best impact. You can be part of this meeting, it is open to any supporter, gay or straight.

Visit the website at www.jfga.org.uk for more info. And to show your support, join our facebook page by clicking here.

 

Justice for Gay Africans

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what we gay people ask for is respect and a peaceful co-existence not anyone's endorsement. 

Equal right for all